Whenever I consciously know that Jersey Shore is airing, I pray a jet engine crashes into my bedroom, missing me, and causing a tear in the fabric of the universe. In turn this creates a tangent parallel dimension where life is only sustainable for a short amount of time. However, as the ‘living receiver’, I will choose not to return the artifact back to its point of intercepted origin, thus allowing the universe to collapse. Killing everybody. Including Snooki.
-Jake Gyllenhaal
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